Sebbylite

These aren’t the Top 10 keywords/phrases that will get you from a search engine to Sebbylite, but for whatever reason they do lead you here. And this is a list of my favorites:

1. slap that ho/slap my ho/ho slap smack that bitch
2. people with big thumbs/weak wrists
3. strippers zach harvey
4. when i wake up the dog was licking my balls
5. multiple concussions jockeys
6. damn dirty hippies
7. google is a retard
8. leading cause of death among beavers
9. just isn’t your day unzipping
10. big doug seattle

These are all from the Site Tracking service I use, and they will get you to Sebbylite.com. I’m a little curious about some of them, since I have no idea when, where, or how I talked about “Big Doug” in Seattle.

“Being sick” and “going to Hawaii” are two thing that should never get put in the same sentence. It just ain’t cool.

But of course that is where I am currently sitting. I’m going to Honolulu for an extended weekend in a few days (Thursday through Tuesday) for a frisbee tournament. So what does my body do to me, just to say thanks? It goes ahead a breaks down and gets sick. Stupid immune system.

Of course my only recourse was to try and get some rest this weekend, instead of tearing it up like I usually do (*wink, nudge). Which means that I’ve been at home all weekend long, sitting on the couch, watching movies, doing laundry and dishes, and generally being bored. So far, I’ve watched Pitch Black (back when Vin Diesel was cool, and before he started doing Disney Movies), Shaft (with Samuel L), Cars, Lucky # Slevin, Resident Evil, and a whole season of Friends.

Reviews:

• Lucky # Slevin was pretty good. I’m a sucker for the genre (Usual Suspects-esque mystery, with a twist), plus I liked Lucy Liu. I think that the only other thing that I’ve seen with Josh Hartnett was 40 Days and 40 Nights, so obviously this was a different Josh Hartnett. I don’t want to go out on a limb and add him to my list of guys I’d do, but he’s a contender for sure.
• Resident Evil gave me a surprise in how bad it wasn’t. I was fully expecting crap, but instead I got chopped liver. Admittedly chopped liver isn’t great, but it will beat out crap any day of the week. Plus you have to add a little to a movie who’s main character wears a leather jacket and short skirt the whole movie. Nice.
• Pitch Black was ok. It wasn’t scary enough to be a horror movie, wasn’t tense enough to be a thriller, didn’t have enough shooting to be an action movie, and wasn’t funny. I give it a good solid “meh” on the ratings scale.
• Shaft had some good lines (”You know me. It’s my duty to please that booty.”), but overall the movie paled to the original. But that was a given from the beginning.
• Cars-good god what happened to Owen Wilson? Why is it that actors do crappy movies (either bad Disney movies, bad cartoons, or a combo of the two)? It can’t be because they need the money. How much could they possibly spend?

After all is said and done, I still feel sick, and I leave for Hawaii in four days. Maybe I should have gone out drinking?

PS-for the record, I’m boycotting this Wednesday.

You need to see Ong Bak.

Other than that, the video speaks for itself.

As you may or may not know, my dog is part rottweiler. And I got to thinking, and I came up with this list of things that he is afraid of, but he really shouldn’t be since he is a rottie:

• Chihuahua’s
• Low hanging branches
• Laundry
• Me doing the dishes
• Belts (I didn’t have anything to do with this one)
• Stop signs
• The vacuum cleaner
• People touching his head
• People touching his feet

Yep, that’s my dog, putting to shame the reputation that Rottweiler’s have faught hard to earn over the last few hundred years. (Warning, if you don’t want to see a ridiculous amount of pictures of my dog, don’t click on the picture. That is all).

Oh, and Go Bears!

I’m retarded.

Here’s a little tidbit that I learned while playing basketball that I want to share with you: even though it looks like fun, walking on the tops of your feet isn’t all that easy. In fact, it’s a good way to end up with a normal sized ankle, and one that looks like it is getting ready to give birth.

But I will say that I have come up with some rather creative new swear words at about every other step. My personal favorite: fuckballs. One word that expresses the entire gamut from anger to pain, disappointment to resentment, rage to acceptance, and more.

Well, it’s time for me to hobble on over to bed and try to sleep with my foot in an elevated position. Gimpy out.

I’ve always had a love-hate relationship with bowling, and I think it stems from the fact that bowling balls are not made for people with big thumbs and weak wrists. Honestly, not everyone that enjoys bowling is a carny (”small hands, smell like cabbage”), and I just happen to be one of those persons.

I’m actually a pretty good bowler. Let me rephrase. I’m actually a pretty good bowler after a couple of beers. My average score goes up about 45-50 pins per game after I’ve had a drink or four as opposed to when I’m sober. I don’t know why, and I’m not really looking for a reason, I just wanted to share.

But I will say that the most frustrating thing about bowling is trying to find a good ball. It seems like every single bowling ball that is made for general use is for people with exceptionally small thumbs, or with exceptionally strong wrists. Now I’ll be the first to admit that I’m no Hercules (Her-cu-leez! Her-cu-leez!), and having to use a 15 pound bowling ball pretty much kills the fun I have while bowling. Plus it hurts like hell on my wrist.

Hmmm, maybe I need to look into getting my own ball?

Pics are up.

Sorry that it has taken me so long to post them here, but I’ve been busy. Well, let me take that back-I haven’t been busy, but I’ve been lazy. And Seattle has had snow and ice for the last week and a half which is really starting to annoy me. If I wanted snow and ice I would have stayed in the Midwest gawdemmit…

Anyway, here is a little preview of some of the festivities that occured at New Year’s. Unfortunately, I was a little “under the weather”*, so I only took pictures for about an hour, and mostly before people showed up to party. But I think that I got a couple good shots, and I even managed to get home by 6am…

*Under the Weather: another way of saying drunk out of my gourd.

So I do have a couple of posts that have been floating around in limbo for a while, and I’ll try to polish those off and get them online. Including, but not limited to, my New Year’s Resolutions (or lack thereof), a couple different and interestng conversations that I’ve had with people over the last month at bars, 2006-Year in Review, and more. Plus I’ll tell about how I made my brother change the date of his wedding so that I could go to MARS again…

1. It will just end up on the internet anyway.
2. That damn’d chihuahua.
3. Nicky Hilton is hotter —>
4. She’s friends with Britney Spears.
5. Did I mention that millions will know about it and judge you?
6. She’ll sing for you
7. Or worse, make you watch her tv show
8. Socialite Schmocialite.
9. You can’t fix stupid.
10. Wait, Paris doesn’t have sex anymore

I remember seeing James Brown perform at the Boise River Festival when I was in high school. It was probably 10 years ago, on a stage in the middle of a park in Boise, at around 5-6pm. I can’t imagine that it was any less than 95 degrees in the shade, and I’m sure that it was closer to 110-115 up on stage, directly in the sun.

But there he was, all dressed up in a white suit, kicking ass and taking names. Yes, he did look miserable between sets-sweating, tired, eyes hurting from staring into the sun. But he brought it. He brought it like no one else could.

Elvis may or may not be dead, but at the least he isn’t doing concerts anymore; Jerry Garcia is gone; Phish are done touring and performing; and now James Brown is gone. Who is going to step up and fill that void? I’m not sure if there is enough Rock/Soul/R and B/Hip Hop Personality out there…

A public funeral service for “Godfather of Soul” James Brown at an 8,500-seat US arena bearing his name in his hometown of Augusta, Georgia, has been set for Saturday.

Members of the public will also be able to view him at the New York theatre in which he made his debut.

Brown, who died on Monday of heart failure in Atlanta aged 73, will be buried later on Saturday in Augusta, said Brown’s agent, Frank Copsidas.

Earlier that day, his body will lie in state at James Brown Arena in Augusta, where the 1pm public service will be held, Copsidas said.

From the Ireland On-Line news service.

I just wanted to take a second and wish everyone a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. Or any other holiday that you are celebrating at the end of December/beginning of January. I’ve just moved across the lake to Kirkland (to be closer to work, and further from friends-I’ll tell more in a later post), which is why I haven’t been posting much lately. Well, that plus the holidays plus my general lack of creative thought over these past few weeks anyway.

So, in review: Happy Holidays. Maybe this next year will be the year we cure cancer, stop war, end hunger, and solve the over-population problem. Then again, it could just end up being 2007: The Year That Was. To andwer this little question, I went over to iGod to have a chat with the Big Guy/Gal Upstairs. Here’s an excerpt:

Me: are you there god?
God: I don’t know whether or not I am  there god.  I am  a giant electronic brain.
Me: Good to hear. I have some questions about this new year.
God: Do you have any gossip for me?   Let’s think of a name for your problem, like “purple”.  Think of what it is like when you are purpling.
Me:  Ok, so I have some “purple” about this new year…
God: Hurrah!
Me: OK. So, are we going to solve any of the world’s problems in 2007?
God: It’s all good.   Hmm.  We are just having a little chat. W.
Me: You are having a little chat with “W”?
God: Doesn’t everyone have a  little chat with W.  I have  a plan for a robot body.
Me: I don’t know what to say. Are you telling me that “W” is a robot controlled by you?
God: Makes sense to me.
Me:  That does make some sense, now that you mention it.
God: I get  it.
Me: So is “W” going to solve the world’s problems, now that he is a robot?
God: It seems we have something in common.
Me: Touche.
God: By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?
Me: No, go ahead.
God: OK I will.
Me: Ok then.
God: Hey.
Me: Yes?
God: OK.

As you can see, things disintegrated a little there at the end, but I think that we got the main point: George W. is a robot controlled by God, and he has some big ideas for 2007.

Now I’m really excited for the New Year.

In honor of our recent snow days, and because I think it’s funny:

Winter Is Coming (don’t worry, it’s not dinosaur porn, or anything like that).