Sebbylite

I had a semi-conversation with a co-worker the other day about death. And by semi-conversation, I mean this:

Co-worker: The ninja report* is going to be the death of me yet.
Me: Really? I’m pretty sure road rage is going to be what gets me.

Admittedly my comment was completely off the cuff. But as I thought about it more, I realized that it was as close to a prediction as I could make about myself. I’m in pretty good shape, I don’t smoke, I exercise a lot, I eat ok (and plan on doing that better), I’m happy most of the time, etc, etc, etc, and there is no clear health hazard in my life. But then I thought I could do better, so I’ve come up with the Top 3 Ways That I’m Likely To Die:

1) Exposure-this is a fancy way of saying starving/freezing/eaten by a bear/trampled by a moose. Basically, I like to hike, and as soon as I finish with this whole ultimate frisbee thing, I’m going to start going camping or backpacking again. And I’m sure that silly little things like not having someone to go with won’t stop me from going by myself.

2) Road Rage-don’t get me wrong, I’m a great driver. I haven’t been in an accident since I was 15 and had only been driving for 2 months. But sooner or later I’m going to get angry at someone’s terrible driving and flip off the wrong person, and that person is going to try to run me off the road. Or stop next to me at a stoplight and pull out a gun. Or follow me home and then wire a bomb to my car’s brake lines.

3) Jealous Husband-HA! April Fool’s!

3) Cancer-just because there is no telling when or why someone might get cancer, I have to throw this out here. Plus I needed to link to this.

Other front-runners include: liver disease, lung cancer from second-hand smoke (thanks, M), rabid dog, or murder-suicide (not me, but my wife-I tend to attract crazy women).

And that’s all.

*”Ninja report” is a reference to How I Met Your Mother. Marshall is telling a story about some complicated legal brief he is working on when Ted stops him and says that they are already lost. So the suggestion is that Marshall just call it the Ninja Report and then it will be an interesting story again. Also, I’m not going to divulge work secrets on my blog.

I finally figured out how to embed the actual Youtube video in my blog! Hooray!

Ok, now that I’ve got that out of the way, about the video: I met this guy at the gym I go to on Thursday night. And I have two things to say about him. 1) He’s a funny dude, even in his limited English way. 2) Even before knowing he was a MMA fighter, I definitely would not have messed with him. He looks like the type of guy that would be able to mess you up, with or without any training whatsoever. He’s just the type of guy that looks like he can take a hit or 8, then come out raging for your head. And after watching some of the Youtube videos he’s got up online, that seems like exactly the type of guy he is. Hopefully he sees me as a friend…

What do you give the guy/girl that has it all? Why the Nicolas Cage Adventure Set, of course. What better shows off your cinematic savoir faire then having his beaut on your fridge?

Plus that Nic Cage is just so dreamy…

Well, maybe it wasn’t that bad, but it necessitated my first 911 call of my life so I’m sticking with it.

Ok, I’ll back up and start from the beginning: as I was walking my dog this morning, one of the houses that I walk by was glowing. I’m not sure if you’ve ever seen a house on fire before, but it was an amazing site. Since I had never seen a house on fire before, I had no idea what was going on, and I didn’t want to make a prank call to 911 for someone’s weird neon lights display.

So I walked past the house with my dog. On the way back (for the record, my morning walk is down a block and back, so it’s not like I wasn’t keeping track of the house the entire time), the windows started popping out from the fire. I didn’t have my phone with me, but a woman was walking by and was almost up to me, so I waited for her. When she came close, I said “Excuse me, do you have a phone? I think that house is on fire.”

To which I got absolutely no response at all. I tried again, this time adding a “ma’am” to sound polite. Still nothing. At this point in time all the windows are popping out of the house and flames are starting to poke out. And so I ran past the woman, up to my place, got my phone, and called 911.

I have to admit that I was impressed by the response time. After I called, gave them the address, and hung up, the first fire truck showed up in about 90-120 seconds. Soon after that the first police car showed, and then more fire trucks. By the time the third fire truck had arrived, two police cars had closed off the street on both sides to traffic and the first truck had a guy with a hose spraying down the house. By the time the second guy joined in with a second hose, the fire seemed to be pretty much contained. Which I count as impressive considering just moments before it was flaring up pine trees on both sides of the house and seemed to be raging along pretty impressively.

All told, 5 of the long fire trucks showed up, 3 police cars, 2 fire marshal trucks, 1 EMT ambulance, and 2 news helicopters. And that, if you haven’t figured it out yet, is why you get renter’s insurance. Do you have any idea how much that must cost?

Ten minutes after I called 911, the fire was well under control. 15 minutes later, it was out and the firemen were starting to cut into the house to see what started it. I still haven’t heard what that was, but on the bright side there was no one in the house and no other houses were burnt.

Ok, now I have to go back and talk about the woman again. What. The. Fuck. I understand that it is 5:30 in the morning, and that you don’t want to interact with anyone at that time because the chances are good that they are crazy, but wouldn’t you respond when you heard the words “house on fire”? Or maybe your ipod was up too loud and you didn’t hear me. Again, is that a great strategy for walking around by yourself at 5:30 am? Deaf to the world? If I had been someone intent on harm, you never would have even known I was coming after you until it was too late.

Or do you just not care that a house was burning down right next to you?

Old Spice – AKA, the most amazing commerical ever

(One of these days I’ll figure out how to actually embed a Youtube player into this blog. But for now, just click on the link, it is definitely worth it)

In a word, nothing happened.

Evidently I forgot to pay for my hosting (and by forgot to pay, I mean that DreamHost messed up my autopay settings so they canceled my account for a while), so it was shut off.

But now I’m back, again, and refreshed and ready to post some more. Riiiigght.

PS-happy now mom?

hmmz.. Sheep :D

Denmark wins as the happiest country. I still wish there was a list though of the rest.

Oh, and also, I want one of these. Awesome.

Happiest people by state.

I wonder if there is a “happiest people by country” ranking out there. Well, I’m sure there is, I just need to find it.

Is my internet broken? What happened to that pretty blue layout that used to be the basis behind Sebbylite?!?

I changed it, that’s what happened. It’s an exercise in semantic markup, style sheets, design, boredom, and one or two more things that I could probably come up with. In a nutshell, I wanted to monkey around with the design, so I set it back to a baseline to then go from there.

And that baseline is what it is: blank, white, etc.

Don’t worry, more changes will be made soon (soon being a relative term).

• I daresay shes upset because she couldn’t go out in the carriage with the others
• But in private youre cruel and unfair
• before he could drag me out
• like a drilling machine in pants

On the bright side, the spam is getting more and more interesting…