Sebbylite

For your viewing pleasure.

Would you rather have sex with a sheep, or a pig?

So it turns out that Jeopardy is having online tests to get new contestants. Which is actually a great idea: it cuts down on costs for the show and the contestants, and it allows more people to take the test for the show.

The thing that pisses me off about it though is that I have a basketball game this Thursday during the Pacific Coast time slot. Eff.I bet I’d get my ass kicked at the test, but I’d still like to take it.

Anyway, if you are interested, here are the time slots to try out for Jeopardy!

Ok, I am entirely too tired to give a detailed description of the events of the last 62 hours, so I’ll give you the quick and dirty and fill in the details later…

I got into town around 9:30 on Friday, and met up with about half the team in our hotel room. Since most people on the team had no idea who everyone else on the team was, we spent some time getting to know each other (aka, drinking in the room) before heading out on the town. I really have no idea what was going on before I got into town, but I hear stories of ordering “Nailin’ Sarah Palin” to the room, lots of drinking, and maybe a little gambling.

So we hit the town, got some food, drank some drinks, and invariably did the Vegas thing until about 4:30/5 in the morning. Where we crashed 7 people in one room (2 beds with 3 people each, and one on the floor), not realizing that the room upstairs had no one in it. At all. But it didn’t really matter for those 2 hours of sleep anyway…

Saturday was Frisbee day number 1, which I will recap later, along with Sunday’s events. There were some interesting things that happened, but they need more time than I am willing to give them now, to fully flesh out the details. And yes, I did mean to say “flesh out” the details.

Saturday night was a little bit of a mess. We took forever to clean up after the games and get food. Some people napped, some people got snacks before showering, some people just drank more before getting back to the hotel room, all of which pushed our “Let’s Hit the Town” time back by quite a bit. We finally got to dinner around 9:45, and left the restaurant around 11:30. After which we met up with some folks, and sat outside a club in the Bellagio for 2.5 hours trying to figure out what to do. I was tired, so I had no will to try and persuade people to get off their asses and get somewhere, and it seemed that no one else did either (or they were just content with being in a casino in Vegas, even though no one was gambling or doing anything we couldn’t have done anywhere else in the entire country). I finally got a cab back to the hotel around 2:30, and found the open room upstairs that no one was sleeping in and crashed. I know, it’s pathetic, but I like my sleep, and get cranky and unhappy when I don’t get any.

Sunday after we finished playing was probably my favorite part of the tournament. The team hung out doing car-bombs and drinking beer for about an hour, talking trash to each other and whoever walked by. We left and checked into the Mirage (Pooh was staying in Vegas for another couple days, so he had a room there where we could put our stuff, shower, etc), and then went to eat. After the unlucky few left for the early airport run, Pooh, Frankus, Katie and I walked across the street looking for the low-stakes casino. We didn’t find it, but we did pass by the guys giving away the call-girl cards, which was an experience in and of itself (hopefully Pooh enjoyed it too). Then we went back into the Mirage and played some Pai Gow Poker, talked some trash to the dealer and the pit boss, got in a little bit of trouble for having no idea how to play, and generally had a good old time. And as fun as Friday and Saturday nights were, I think that Sunda is going to be the day I remember most (for some obvious reasons), and the day I had the most fun. I just wish more people could have been around, and that we had more time to play. Oh well, there’s always next year.

Ok, so it is now 7:30, and I’m going to bed. Yep, bed. Vegas takes it out of you…

Over the last couple of days, I’ve been thinking about a couple different things. One, which should be obvious, is what is going to go on in Vegas (am I going to live, am I going to jail, how little sleep will I actually get, how easy will it be to get an anullment after a debaucherous casino chapel wedding, etc).

Another one that isn’t so obvious is this: who makes aluminum cans? Is it one company, or multiple companies? Does each bottling plant make their own cans also? Are there patents/trademarks/copyrights involved? Is one of those trademarks the sound that a can makes when it is opened? It should be, because that is pretty distinctive (just think back to your college days, and the student run movie theater. Everyone knew the two sounds that always rang out during the movie: 1) the sound of a can being opened. 2) the sound of the dumbass who had to go to the bathroom during the movie kicking over his bottles and having them roll down the cement floor/stairs).

These are the types of things that I think about during the day, and that keep me from going crazy at work. Welcome to my life.

Harper’s Index edition of how effed up these last 8 years have been.

Enjoy!

Personal favorites:

Portion of his presidency he has spent at or en route to vacation spots: 1/3
Seconds it took a Maryland consultant in 2004 to pick a Diebold voting machine’s lock and remove its memory card: 10
Portion of all U.S. income gains during the Bush Administration that have gone to the top 1 percent of earners: 3/4
Rank of Bush among U.S. presidents with the highest disapproval rating: 1

Change is going to come!

Like a fresh Spring breeze.
Dog pukes, instantly awake.
Sunday, 6 AM.

For whatever reason, there isn’t a sound in the world that will bring me more wide awake more quickly than the sound of a dog throwing up in my room. Maybe because there was a time when I was just figuring out that Esky was allergic to the Rice in dog food, and so he was throwing up 3-5 times a day. And maybe it was also because I lived in a place that was primarily carpetted, and my only hope was to get him into the kitchen so I only had to clean vomit off of tile. Maybe it was a combination of all of these things.

Suffice to say, when that first *hurk* sound comes out of his throat, I’m up and out of bed before my eyes even open. And then it’s just a race to see what comes first: getting Esky onto tile/hardwood floors, or the puke.

Luckily, this morning I won. No carpet cleaner needed…

What? So it’s been 6 months since I last posted, what’s your point?

I could throw a bunch of excuses out at you as to why this is the case, but why bother. I’m pretty sure my readership is down to about 0, possibly less than that even. So I’ll just ignore that little fact, and start up with the updates.

1. The economy sucks, but so far I’ve still got my job. The company I work for is small enough that it is doubtful that they will lay people off (other than the temp workers, data input people, and consultants that have already been let go). There is a chance in the upcoming months that I might see a salary cut, but I think that would be it. So I’ve got that going for me, which is nice.
2. My old car died (1986 Honda Accord, 177000 miles, older than at least 3 of my teammates). Well, technically it’s still alive, but the headlines completely shut off which makes it tough to drive in the mornings here in Seattle. But since my plan was to get a new car anyway, this was an alright thing. So I’ve got a new car now too, 2007 Mazda3 Hatchback, 24320 miles, heated seats, leather, etc, etc. Nice.
3. Probably the biggest news, I found out that I’ve been playing with 2 hernias and a torn stomach muscle since July. And I go under the knife in early February, followed by 4 weeks of basically sitting in bed and watching movies. Yep, no running, jumping, swimming, biking, lifting, or thinking hard for four straight weeks, minimum. That will hurt me more than the surgery itself. But hopefully after it’s all over I’ll be back to my old self, and able to play without wearing all my old man gear (aka, the Corset). Instead, I’ll have a bunch of mesh sewn into my abdominal wall, kinda like an internal corset. Definitely better.
4. Oh, I’m officially older. Turned 31 in January, which means I can no longer claim to only be in my upper 20′s, I am officially in my 30′s. So I should probably stop hanging out with 18, 19, and 20 year olds sometime soon. I’ll let you know when that happens.

That is about it. Work, frisbee, play, etc. It’s all still going pretty much the same, other than the above.

Oh yeah, and I’m going to Vegas next weekend, so I might have some more stories after that…