Sebbylite

Moving sucks ass.

Ok, so that’s three words. That’s how bad it sucks. It took me long enough to write it down and then stare at it for a while before I realized that it actually was three words.

Let’s try again: moving sucksass.

My Master Plan has failed me so far. I was really hoping that if I waited long enough without posting new content, people would stop coming to my blog. Then, after this had gone on for a while, I could slowly shut it down so that I didn’t have to post anymore. It’s not that I don’t like posting, it’s that I don’t like feeling like I have to post.

Unfortunately this hasn’t worked out exactly as envisioned. First of all, since I’ve stopped posting, I’ve gotten more visitors to the site than when I was posting. Why? I’m not really sure. I think it has something to do with search engine’s archiving and indexing my posts more thoroughly, so more searches are finding me. This isn’t exactly the type of readership that I’m looking for, since about 95% of the people that get here leave in the 0-5 second range, but how am I ever supposed to give up being the number one spot on Google for “leading cause of death in beavers”, and the number 2 spot for “retard dog”? (In fact, I really should do more about beavers, just to explore more thoroughly that area…[insert appropriate beaver joke here])
Second of all, I do like having a blog. I like being able to share shit I find on the internet with others. And by others, I mean Tall, Frankie, Pooh, and maybe two or three others. Because honestly, people don’t show up to read the beautiful prose I write, or to revel in the pentameter of my verse (hell, I could hardly even write that, let alone think that of my ramblings). Fuck no. They show up to take a look at what drunken mishaps I’ve been up to, what videos I’ve found online that need to be watched, what games need to be played to waste valuable time and resources at work, and what bad jokes I can tell (What’s invisible and smells like carrots? Rabbit farts). So hopefully that is what I will post more of.

So the real reason why I’ve been so lax in my posting is work. It’s a combination of factors really. 1) I’m required to take a one-hour lunch. Yes, even though I finish eating in about 20 minutes, I am supposed to take those extra 40 minutes to myself as “quiet time”. Which means I read a book. 2) I have to commute. And even though it only takes me 20 minutes to get to work in the morning (that is, if I get out the door by 6am), it takes anywhere from 45 minutes to an hour and a half to get home. Basically, when you add all this up, work takes up about 10.5 hours a day. When you add in frisbee practice and tournaments, general chores and household duties (hehe, I said “duties”), hanging out with friends, walking the retard dog, etc, that usually puts blogging somewhere way down on the to-do list. Somewhere a little bit behind cleaning the bathroom and a little in front of taking some Colon-Blow for “shits and giggles”.

Which is sad, because I do have a nice list of topics for blogging. And I do have a few rough drafts that have been sitting in my account waiting to be finished up for about 8 months. So it is definitely not lack of material that is hindering me. *Sigh* Woe is me, woe is me.

…because I am definitely retarded.

Today as I was getting ready for practice, I decided to make myself a PB&J sandwich as a snack to tide me over until dinner.

So I got out the bread and jelly from the fridge and put them on the counter, took out two pieces of bread of bread for the sandwich, re-tied the bread bag and then put it back in the fridge. As I was sitting there with the fridge door open staring at the shelf where the jelly usually sits, I couldn’t believe that I was out of jelly. I didn’t remember using the last of it the last time I made a PB&J, and normally I would have put it right onto my shopping list and gotten more. I searched through the whole fridge - the shelves, the drawers, the hidden pockets in the door, etc, but I couldn’t find it.

Finally I gave up and decided to make a PB&Honey instead. When I closed the fridge door and looked on the counter, there was the jelly staring right back at me.

The worst part, even after I saw it sitting there, I didn’t really have a recollection of taking it out in the first place. Maybe drinking really is bad for me…