Only at the Metrodome, cheap seats are still only $5. Buy now and get your pit pass for free. And remember, you may buy the whole seat, but you’ll only need the edge (edge edge edge).
Sorry, I’ve been watching too much tv, and seeing too many demolition derby commercials.
Anyway, here’s this weeks installment of the Sunday Caption Contest. Do your worst.
This years finalist for the Gene Simmons look-a-like contest
Do you ever think that maybe you spend too much time in front of a computer screen, catering to the needs of semi-imaginary friends that you will probably never meet in person? Do you ever split your life into events that are “blogworthy”, and those that just “aren’t”? Do you feel as though this isn’t healthy?
For instance, I was at the gym tonight, playing some bad basketball and lifting some not-so-heavy weights. When I went into the “abs room”, I noticed that one of the women on the stationary bikes was wearing Birkenstock clogs with no socks.
This just sent me into an flurry of thoughts on how I could portray what I had witnessed on my blog. Should I talk about how disgusting her shoes must be after a workout (honestly, how nasty are those shoes after sweating through a workout with no socks)? Or perhaps dig into the nature of her persona, and why she chooses to wear nonconventional workout gear to a gym (did I mention the capri pants also)? Or maybe I could compare her to the other gym women in their personal race towards a better them?
After about 5-10 minutes of sitting in the same position, I realized that I was a loser. Honestly, I was working out, and then I got totally floored by thinking about what I should blog about.
Is there anyone out there in Seattle that wants to be my friend?
mentos + diet coke
The one question I have is this: what’s up with the hyena laughing in the background?
While patrolling a barren stretch of highway, a state trooper was surprised to find a nekid young man tied to a tree. Pulling over, the trooper asked the youth to tell him what happened.
“Well,” he said. “I picked up this hitchhiker, and as soon as he got in he pulled a gun and took my car, wallet and clothes. Then, he did this to me.”
Unzipping his fly, the trooper chuckled, “Son, this just isn’t your day.”
Ok, since the first Sunday Caption Contest was such a resounding success, we’re going to keep it going. This weeks picture is going to be a little tougher, so get your thinking caps on. Here goes:
This is what I’ve got:
The original brain freeze.
- or -
If only he had pistol-grip ears and no teeth…
Bring it on.
Ok, so I jumped all over Valentine’s Day (I didn’t blog much about it, but every single conversation I had on V-Day sounded something like this: “Valentine’s Day sucks. And discuss.”), and I think that all the negativity is getting me down. To counteract that, I am going to now channel my inner-chick, and give you a list of things that make me happy. Here goes:
Him: I need a ruling from the judges. This girl gave me a Valentine’s Day Card that said this-”I think that you are a very special person, and the World is better for having you in it.” Does this mean that she is calling me retarded?
Me: Yes, that is the only way that you can translate what she said.
Him: I think that we aren’t going to work out as a couple.
Me: Why, because she called you retarded? You are, you know.
Him: I know. But I talked to her about it, and she doesn’t think that she called me retarded. This means either a) she has no sense of humor, or b) my sense of humor will get in the way of us dating. Whichever one it is, it won’t work out between us.
Me: True. Bummer.
Well, at the very least writing all that down put me in a little bit better mood.
Top 10 New Dirty Sounding Words:
The only tv that I watch is on Tuesday nights, Scrubs and Love Monkey. I used to watch more, but they kept cancelling my shows (Friends, Joey), so now I only watch those two. And I’m not saying that there isn’t more good tv out there, I’m just saying that I limit myself to these two shows because they are awesome, and this way I’m not wasting more than 2 hours a week sitting in front of a tv doing nothing when I have so much work to do (see I Suck to learn what I need to be doing).
First things first, Scrubs is amazing. It is the single funniest show I have ever watched, and I’m proud to say that I’ve been there since the beginning. This guy I worked with in Northfield, MN (his name was John L., so we called him Sven) and I used to watch it every week over dinner and beer way back in ‘01. And the rest is , as they say, history.
Although I will say this: if Zach Braff can make it in this world, I think that I’m going to be ok. Honestly, he’s a nerd, he’s not that good looking, and he can’t run (one of my biggest pet peeves is when they make actors run on screen, and you get to really see how uncoordinated they truly are). So, since I can run, and I am a nerd, and I’m not that good looking, I think there’s hope.
Second, if you haven’t started watching Love Monkey yet, you really need to start. The guy that plays JD’s older brother on Scrubs (Tom Cavanagh (also the guy from Ed) is an A/R guy for an Indie record label who has a close group of friends, a rock star client, a love interest/co-worker (who I find totally annoying, but his group of friends more than make up for it), and a lot of laughs. Some of the more memorable quotes that I remember from the last few shows:
“That man is a converstaional cul-de-sac.”
(To his old boss at the big label record company who says that they are both the same) “We are not the same. At the end of the day, you have your high rise corner office and your view of the river, and I, I have a lot less money than you…”
“Just buddy tape it.”
Of course it seems to be going around the rumor mill that after the first 6 episodes, the show is going to be cancelled. What a crock. So I urge you to write a letter to CBS (go the the feedback button at the bottom of the page) asking them to keep the show on the air. It probably won’t work, since when did the companies actually care about what the people actually want to watch, but it is worth a try.
And remember, the most important thing here is to keep my tv watching habits regular, and not to make me watch reality TV (if I really wanted to watch some crappy reality television show, I would just take a video camera around with me all day long).
I don’t want to be a sourpuss, so I’ll only say this once: I also do not like Valentine’s Day. (I did make myself feel better though, because you just can’t say “sourpuss” and not giggle).
Ok, now that I’ve got that out of my system, it’s time to talk about something else-my Retard Dog.
This morning when I woke up, I walked outside to a winter wonderland. Big, fat snowflakes were falling right outside my door (which is unusual since I live in Seattle-usually when it snows it only snows in the suburbs). Before thoughts of a snow day could fullye entwine themselves into my brain and make me totally useless at work (I could go back to sleep, then go sledding, then have some hot chocolate with my best pals as we planned out where and how to build our snow forts for the big snowball fight…), I noticed that even though it was snowing, it was not sticking on the roads or ground. Too bad, so I took my dog out for a walk.
When we got to the local park/unofficial dog off leash area/white collar drug deal locale, I remembered one of my dog’s favorite games-chasing snowballs. With most dogs, I wouldn’t think twice about them wanting to chase something that is thrown, but my dog is different. Maybe it is the way that he looks at me after the snowball disintegrates, as if to say “Which way did he go?”, or the way that he stares at a snowball thrown straight at him until it smacks him in the face, and then looks surprised when it does. I’m not sure. But I do know that I was at that park for 20 minutes at 6:15am throwing snow for my dog.
Maybe I’m the retard.
Alright y’all, since it seems that Sunday is the day that I have the most time to blog on a consistent basis, I’m going to try and set up the “Sunday Caption Contest”. These will start with pictures that I have taken of people that I know, in more or less compromising situations, and then we get to make up what they are doing/saying/thinking/etc.
To start, let’s use this picture:
Here’s what I have so far:
My what big “eyes” you have Grandma.
C’mon, do better, I dare you…
76% scored higher (more nerdy), and
24% scored lower (less nerdy).
What does this mean? Your nerdiness is:
Not nerdy, but definitely not hip.
